“Who on the planet do you treat the kindest?”

That was a conversation that a photographer and I had on our way back from the South sound this morning.

After asking him where he heard that, quick to respond, “It came from another reporter”.

I totally knew who he was talking about since interactions with her have been nothing BUT kind.

That question made me think, WHO do you treat the kindest?  Is it your parents? Maybe your spouse and kids? Co-workers and supervisors?

The answer: The person you are talking to.

WHY do we forget that every day?

What is it that causes us to be un-kind? Unsympathetic? Sometimes just down right mean?

That answer lies within you.

It made me search deep within myself to figure out why I have been so short with people lately.

Was it the stress of both jobs? Was it the lack of sleep? Financial reasons?

To be honest with you. It is a little bit of everything.

I am not going to sit here and make excuses, that’s not how I roll. I am a woman of action. If it’s noticed, it’s changed.  Realizing that the attitude given off was from the attitude given to me.  Chain reaction so to speak.

The saying you get what you give. Rings so very true. 

Trust me when I say when there has been some soul searching going on.  At first, I felt jaded over the feeling of having to prove myself repeatedly to people. Hoping for acceptance, praying that they will see that I function differently. Jaded in the sense that when I show kindness it’s always taken advantage of or used against me. Therefore, I put on a stoic face and continue to keep my head down and give my absolute best every day.

 I have been disappointed in myself, feeling like I’m not doing enough when I’m told that I’m doing too much. Over-extending.  Feeling like you are just an outsider to some of the people that you know, love and respect.

Senses are heightened when it comes to the people I trust. Not really knowing whom I can confide in outside of a therapist or my husband.  

You know I’m a bulldog when it comes to what I do, always been all business.  Sometimes it comes off as “short” to people around me. I mean no harm, and trust me when I say that I am working on it. It is the Type A personality in me.

This girl who was picked on, physically abused and told she would NEVER amount to anything all her life just wants to belong.

Feel like I’m a part of something instead of feeling pushed out

Kindness comes full circle.

You get what you give, and you can believe that I’m going to be giving a whole lot more.